My mother moved from France to the United States when she was 18, which meant visits with my French grandparents were relatively rare growing up. As an adult, I came to appreciate that those visits gave me something that had little to do with money and everything to do with understanding where I came from.
A few summers ago, we returned to France with our children and spent time with my grandmother. Listening to her share family stories, including memories of growing up in France during World War II, I realized we had created an opportunity for our children to connect with their family history in a way that simply wouldn't have been possible through photos, books, or secondhand stories.
That experience changed how I think about legacy. In financial planning, estate planning, and legacy planning, legacy conversations often focus on the assets we hope to leave behind. But some of the most meaningful parts of a family's legacy are passed along during our lifetime through shared experiences, stories, traditions, and relationships.
A Legacy Is More Than What We Leave Behind
When we talk about legacy in financial planning, the conversation often turns quickly to assets and to our financial legacy. What will we leave our children? How will wealth transfer? What structures should be in place? How do we align our financial goals with leaving a lasting legacy?
Those are important questions, but they represent only part of a family’s legacy.
Families also pass down stories, values, traditions, perspectives, and experiences. In many cases, those things shape future generations just as much as the assets they eventually inherit.
My grandparents helped pass along a stronger sense of family history and connection. Their stories provided context for where our family came from, the challenges previous generations faced, and the values that shaped their lives.
Those experiences reinforced something I think many families overlook. Legacy is shaped not only by what remains after we’re gone, but by the moments, values, and connections we share along the way.
Legacy Isn’t Always Measured Financially
Financial planning often focuses on measurable outcomes. We track investment performance, savings progress, spending patterns, and whether a plan remains aligned with a family's goals.
Those measures are important, but they don't capture every outcome that matters to a family.
A trip that brings multiple generations together may deepen relationships. Time spent with grandparents may preserve stories and experiences that might otherwise be lost. Visiting a place that is part of a family's history can provide context and perspective that cannot be replicated later.
These outcomes are difficult to quantify, yet they often become some of the most meaningful aspects of a family's legacy.
Timing also plays a role. It is easy to assume there will be another opportunity to take the trip, schedule the visit, or gather everyone in the same place. In reality, circumstances change. Children grow up, families spread out, and older generations are not always able to travel indefinitely.
Financial resources cannot prevent those changes, but they can provide flexibility. In some cases, that flexibility allows families to prioritize experiences and conversations while the opportunity still exists.
What Do You Want Your Family to Carry Forward?
When I think about spending on family experiences now, I find myself asking a different set of questions.
Who do we want our children or grandchildren to know while they still have the opportunity?
Sometimes the most meaningful use of money is simply getting people into the same place.
That might mean plane tickets to visit grandparents, renting a house large enough for an extended family gathering, or helping adult children make a trip they might otherwise postpone.
Hearing family stories directly from the people who lived them can create a connection that is difficult to replicate through photographs, documents, or secondhand retellings.
Are there places that are part of our family’s story?
Not every meaningful trip involves visiting somewhere new. In some cases, revisiting a place with personal or family significance can be just as meaningful.
That might mean traveling to another country, but it could also be the town where you grew up, the farm your grandparents worked, the neighborhood where your parents bought their first home, or a place where your family has gathered for generations.
Visiting those places can provide context that is difficult to gain through photographs or family stories alone. They can help bring family history to life and create a stronger connection between past generations and the people who will carry those stories forward.
What stories or traditions could be lost over time?
Family history is often preserved through conversations, traditions, photographs, recipes, letters, and shared experiences. Some of those stories are intentionally passed down. Others can disappear simply because no one thought to ask.
Taking time to document family history can help preserve details and perspectives that may otherwise be lost. That might involve identifying the people in old photographs, recording conversations, writing down family recipes, saving letters, or asking relatives about traditions and where they originated.
One lesson I've learned is not to assume you already know the important stories. I spent years with my grandmother before hearing about her experiences growing up in Royan during World War II. Had that conversation never happened, that part of our family's history may never have been passed on to the next generation.
Like many aspects of legacy planning, preserving family history often requires intentionality. The opportunity to capture those stories becomes more limited as time passes, which can make these conversations worth having sooner rather than later.
If your financial plan allows it, is there something worth doing now rather than someday?
This is where financial planning and spending decisions often intersect.
Meaningful experiences should still be evaluated within the context of a broader financial plan. A family trip, reunion, or other shared experience is not automatically a good financial decision simply because it creates memories. The expense still needs to align with your goals, priorities, and long-term financial objectives.
Before making a significant purchase or committing substantial resources to a family experience, it can be helpful to evaluate a few broader planning considerations. Factors such as your age, health, anticipated healthcare or long-term care needs, retirement objectives, and desired legacy can all influence how much flexibility you have to spend today. Just as importantly, understanding what you hope to leave behind for children, grandchildren, charitable organizations, or other beneficiaries can help frame the decision within the context of your broader goals.
But once those objectives are secure and the plan provides flexibility, timing can become an important consideration.
Family circumstances, health, and life stages all influence what opportunities are available and when those opportunities can realistically happen. A trip taken five years from now may look very different than that same trip taken while a grandparent can still share family stories, while children are still living at home, or while multiple generations are healthy enough to experience it together.
Financial planning can help create flexibility, but some opportunities are inherently time-sensitive. This is often where sophisticated financial planning becomes valuable. Rather than simply asking whether an expense is affordable today, families can evaluate how a decision might affect future retirement spending, healthcare needs, charitable goals, or wealth they hope to transfer to future generations. Financial planning software can model different scenarios and help illustrate how a major purchase or experience may fit within a broader long-term plan.
Using Wealth While We Are Still Here
One of the benefits of building financial security is having choices about what your wealth can accomplish. Those choices often involve balancing competing priorities. Many people want to enjoy meaningful experiences today while also preserving assets for future needs, protecting against unexpected healthcare costs, supporting charitable causes, or leaving a legacy for the next generation.
That might mean bringing multiple generations together for a family gathering, helping children connect with their family history, or creating experiences that reinforce the values and traditions important to your family.
Meaningful experiences can take many forms. What often matters most is whether they align with the priorities and goals that are important to the people involved.
I don't know what my children will remember most from our trips to France. Maybe it will be hearing their great-grandmother describe her experiences growing up during World War II. Maybe it will be the long meals, the walks through her village, or simply the time spent together.
What matters to me is that they gained a deeper understanding of their family's history and the people who came before them.
Sometimes the most important first step is simply asking the question. Is this something we can comfortably do? A trusted advisor can help evaluate how a decision fits alongside other priorities and model potential outcomes, but the conversation often starts with identifying what matters most to you and your family.
Financial planning often focuses on preparing assets for the next generation. In some cases, however, part of that legacy can be created long before an inheritance is received. Experiences, stories, traditions, and relationships can all play a role in helping future generations understand not only what they inherited, but where they came from.
